--------------------
Subject: MAFIA MIKE'S SCHNEWS
Good Evening Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, Lads and Lasses and Marie's Little Willy.....welcome to Mafia Mike's....where the air is stale with smoke, the bar is full of louts and the toilets....are unmentionable!
I thought I would start off with a few helpful tips as the weather is slightly inclement.....
Helpful Hints For Winter
Keep your headlights clear with car wax! Just wipe ordinary car wax on your headlights. It contains special water repellents that will prevent that messy mixture from accumulating on your lights - lasts 6 weeks.
Squeak-proof your wipers with rubbing alcohol! Wipe the wipers with a cloth saturated with rubbing alcohol or ammonia. This one trick can make badly streaking & squeaking wipers change to near perfect silence & clarity.
Ice-proof your windows with vinegar! Frost on it's way? Just fill a spray bottle with three parts vinegar to one part water & spritz it on all your windows at night. In the morning, they'll be clear of icy mess. Vinegar contains acetic acid, which raises the melting point of water---preventing water from freezing!
Prevent car doors from freezing shut with cooking spray! Spritz cooking oil on the rubber seals around car doors & rub it in with a paper towel. The cooking spray prevents water from melting into the rubber.
Fog-proof your windshield with shaving cream! Spray some shaving cream on the inside of your windshield & wipe if off with paper towels. Shaving cream has many of the same ingredients found in commercial defoggers.
De-ice your lock in seconds with hand sanitizer! Just put some hand sanitizer gel on the key & the lock & the problems solved!
Now for the bar news.....our eldest son Luis has been upgraded from toilet attendant after he fell down a man-hole cover and.....whilst feeling and looking like shhhht......was overcome from the fumes from the new loo-cleaner and felt rather flushed at the time. It didn't help......that his head had been thrust down the pan at the time....after going in on an errand of mercy! He vows never to help out in the "Ladies" ever again. If I catch the culpritess....there will be a hefty fine dealt out.....yes Lela......you/we both know who you are....tsk on you. The lad was only trying to help....he swears vehemently that he didn't brush up against you on purpose....nor was he attempting to hinder you whilst you were putting on your facemask....he just thought the concrete was going to harden too much and tried to help........Meanwhile.....Fred and the monkey are still on the loose...so we have bought Marie a pig. She wanted to call him Bill, but as he's only a piglet ( if my frying pan doesn't get him first ) he is now affectionately known as Marie's Little Willy!
There have been many asking me about my beard.....yes...it is soft....as soft as any merkin I know! (Please don't ask me to explain that one again....ask Marie instead!). I told an old friend....Tigger from Evil Cat Gang...that it was indeed...an old alleycat by the name of Whitey McFluff that was keeping my chin warm.....but have now decided on a new enterprise......I will be taking orders....you will find me down on my merkin farm....I know you will all wish me well in this venture ....and NO....I aint leaving Mafia Mike's!
Please make our new pot-man ( glass collector to you....no...not the local dope dealer...that's already been allocated....sorry George....) Luis LaBoy.......you will find him on the admin section.....hopefully he will write a schnews or two.....find him and say hallo.
Apart from that...all quiet since nearly everyone is in Bangkok...or trying to get there....I know I should've secured that darned back door a bit better...oh! well! See you in the bar.......from Ted your Bar Cellarman and Purveyor and Grower of Fine Merkins!
--------------------
To reply to this message, follow the link below:
http://www.facebook.com/n/?inbox%2Freadmessage.php&t=1222698929579&mid=1cd29c3G5af32a232197G2277b8G0
___
Find people from your Gmail address book on Facebook! Go to: http://www.facebook.com/find-friends/?ref=email
This message was intended for arildinho13@gmail.com. Want to control which emails you receive from Facebook? Go to:
http://www.facebook.com/editaccount.php?notifications=1&md=bXNnO2Zyb209NTg0MDg4NTY0O3Q9MTIyMjY5ODkyOTU3OTt0bz0xMDAwMDA0MzA0OTgxOTk=
Facebook's offices are located at 1601 S. California Ave., Palo Alto, CA 94304.
No response to “"Mafia Mike's" sent you a message on Facebook...”
Leave a Reply